I recently re-connected with an old acquaintance who has been unhappily married for over 15 years. They have been to psychologists, relationship councilors,trips to Rome, Paris, New York. Trips to the sea side to resolve their differences.
They have even been to a divorce lawyer and then backed out of the divorce.
There has been abuse, both verbal and physical.
Still they hold on. Which I find admirable. And yet…
I did ask my old friend: “isn’t it over? Shouldn’t you be over by now?”
She has spoken about this relationship for ever. When I wish we could speak about our dreams and plans for the future, she speaks about this doomed broken-glass–pieces-on-floor relationship.
It drains the energy out of everything.
It kills the inspiration that could change the world.
And I said, unwisely:
When it ends – a job, a relationship, a friendship etc, there is a little madness, self-preservation, self-sabotage, megalomania and even recklessness when you say:
“I will be the one you miss. The one you don’t forget. When you are 70 years old, going through your life, and re-running through the decisions you have made, I will be the one you miss.”
There is also self-love, self-respect and a healthy core deep inside when you can say:
“You will look back at your life and ache for my laughter, my energy, my warmth, my coldness, my hysteric overreactions, my silences, my horrible singing voice, my dry hair all over the place, my tired red eyes.
One day, quite unexpectedly, you will long for Me.
But, it will be too late, when you find out what you have lost.”
It may not be true, but try it! When you find yourself in the wrong job, relationship, friendship etc try telling yourself that you deserve something good.
Or whatever it is that makes you inspired to live a fulfilling life.
Because there must be something better out there for you! Don’t you think?
Maybe, that something out there is YOU