Office party Shenanigans – It finally happened to me!

From this day forward, (there is a before it happened and an after) I will say “I know! disgusting! And it was not even the hotty I wanted grabbing at me!! Hahaha… and trail off”. We all have our eye on the hottest colleague with his Mexican mustache on and a hot poncho hanging on his almost bare wide shoulders and he is dancing to Mexican music and he looks your way every now and then.

I will want to make light of the fact that even all covered up, I looked like an object to someone. Even being educated and competent doesn’t help. Not even staying quite sober is a redeemer when we become objects. To a drunk eye, I let loose for minute, relaxed, smiled, danced, laughed out loud; and pang! I looked like fun doll a man can grab at and play with. Own for a minute. Take home/ to a hotel for a night.

I will tell the story from the beginning. We have two office parties every year. I haven’t missed one in the three years I have worked in our BI (business intelligence); the parantes is for the IT muggles. I haven’t missed a party because they are so fun! People drink just enough. Most of the fun people dance tills close down. My colleagues and my two bosses are fun people and take this as their training pass. Very seriously!

We have themes every time, last year it was sailing for the summer and fairy tales for the winter. You should have seen Cruella and her tortured little dogs. And the witches were from heaven! Or not. Yesterday was theme Mexico. I asked, “any particular time period of Mexico?” Organizer said “oh no! We didn’t think of that! Just go with whatever you like”

Those are words you can’t say to me. What I like and what is OK are two totally different things. But I am brought up by nuns and I am a decent over 30 woman. So I do keep it together, with a pinch of chili. The good, the bad and the ugly came flushing to mind. My creative head said “goooo even further back! Mwahahaha…” So I went to Beyond retro and found an antik dress that is falling apart. What’s Mexican about my dress? Well, it flowery isn’t it? And the shoulders are off aren’t they! I also found the most fantastic poncho! Fits me nicely and can pass for Mexican.

We had Salsa dancers teaching us Salsa in the beginning of the evening. Just to spice the night.


We also had a freshman in our midst. I will describe him properly so you don’t mistake him. He is over 35yrs old, so he has definitely been to some office parties before. He is a manager so he should have some sense. He is married and a father of two. But he still drunk too much! He just stood there at 10:30pm swaying, grabbing colleagues who walked or danced by him. There was more dancing than walking. He smiled like a moron when he succeeded to grab properly.

And he tried to grab me! Nobody, and I mean nobody has tried to grab my ass at office parties before. Was it the Salsa? Seeing the Salsa dancers grab each other? Was I hotter than ever before? That could be it! I get hotter with age. I was in total chock when he did. I just stood there and told my twitching right hand “don’t slap him, don’t slap him, don’t slap him….”. One of my managers, a woman saw my debating with myself, hugged me from the back, I felt it was a woman and relaxed, pulled me back to dancing and went off to get a glass of water for drunk, ass/tits grabbing moron.

We danced till late after that. I will always have that. I feel that I passed a womanhood rite of passage. It’s right up there with growing tits, getting the monthlies, getting sex for the first time (Screw loosing virginity!) etc When others said “men grab at you when they drink too much at office parties!” I always said  (in the past)” never happened to me!” With disappointment that something is wrong with me. Not pretty enough or something.